Letting Go of the Life You Thought You’d Have

Nobody signs up for cancer. It crashes into your life, takes the steering wheel, and drives you straight off the map you were following. Maybe it was the career you were just getting into, the relationship you thought was solid, the family you were planning, the trip, the goals, the version of you that felt unstoppable. And then—bam. Everything changes.

Here’s the thing no one tells you: grieving that “other life” is valid. You’re not being dramatic. You’re being human.

Letting go isn’t about pretending that life didn’t matter. It’s about slowly loosening your grip on a version of the future that no longer fits. It’s about making space for what is—not because you wanted it, but because it’s here.

And you can make something meaningful out of this chaos. But first? Give yourself permission to mourn the life you thought you’d have. That’s not weakness. That’s courage.

So how do you start letting go when you’re still heartbroken over what could’ve been?

Here are a few places to begin:

1. Name what you’ve lost. Write it down. Say it out loud. “I thought I’d be starting my family this year.” “I thought I’d be working full-time.” Putting words to it makes it real—and that’s part of grieving.

2. Ask: What do I still want to feel like me? You might not get your old life back, but you can reconnect to the parts that still feel true. Maybe it’s creativity. Independence. Purpose. Start there.

3. Let time do its thing. Letting go isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a daily practice. Be patient. It’s okay if it still hurts.

#grief #expectations #docancerbetter