Joy and Grief Can Coexist (And Often Do)

You’re laughing with a friend—and suddenly feel guilty for smiling.

You’re having a good day—and then remember the scan is tomorrow.

You’re grateful to be alive—and still grieving what cancer has taken.

That emotional whiplash?

It’s not a sign something’s wrong. It’s a sign you’re human.

You Don’t Have to Choose

The world tends to treat joy and grief like they’re opposites.

Like if you’re hurting, you shouldn’t feel happy.

Or if you’re smiling, you must be “over it.”

But here’s what I want you to know:

Joy and grief can live in the same moment.

And they often do.

One doesn’t cancel the other out. They just take turns holding your attention.

Two Ways to Make Space for Both

1. Stop Trying to Make It Make Sense

Your brain wants to make emotions neat and linear. But this isn’t a spreadsheet.

You can feel hopeful and devastated.

You can laugh hard and cry five minutes later.

When both show up, let them.

2. Let the Good Be Small (And Still Count)

Joy doesn’t have to be loud or long-lasting to matter.

A good song. A text from someone who gets it. The first sip of hot coffee.

Let those tiny flickers in. They’re not betraying your grief. They’re balancing it.

You are not broken for feeling both happy and sad.

You’re not “moving on” just because you laughed.

You’re not failing at joy because the grief still sneaks in.

This is what it means to live a full, complex, real life.

Especially during and after cancer.

Joy and grief are not enemies.

They’re companions.

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